WHY PEOPLE ARE LIKE FLIES:

There are 120,000 different species of flies they've been around as long          as mankind and have been found in all seven continents. It has been documented that the fly transmits deadly diseases such as typhoid fever, dysentery, cholera, yaws, anthrax, leprosy and tuberculosis just to name a few. In many instances, flies are the indirect cause of low cattle weight and poultry death.

TYPES OF FLIES

There are several kinds of flies. 

HOUSE FLY

The housefly, Musca domestica, is one of the most common of all insects.It is a worldwide pest in homes, barns, poultry houses, food-processing plants, recreation areas, etc.

House fly eggs are laid in almost any type of warm organic material.Animal or poultry manure is an excellent breeding medium. Decaying vegetation such as grass clippings and garbage can also provide for optimum breeding conditions.

Houseflies are strong fliers and can become widely distributed by flying, wind currents, vehicles and animals. Generally, though, flies are abundant in the immediate vicinity of their breeding site.

STABLE FLY

The stable fly, also known as the dog fly, is a blood-sucking fly. Stable flies primarily attack animals for blood, but in the absence of an animal will also bite humans.

An adult stable fly can fly up to 70 miles from their breeding sites. The stable fly adult is similar to the housefly in size and color. The stable fly, however, has a long bayonet-like mouthpart for sucking blood. Unlike many other fly species, both male and female stable flies suck blood.

Stable fly bites are extremely painful to both man and animal. When hungry, stable flies are quite persistent and will continue to pursue a blood meal even after being swatted several times.

FLESH FLY

Flesh flies are a scavenger fly species that usually feed on meat scraps and dead animal carcasses.

Female flesh flies retain eggs within their bodies until the eggs are ready to hatch.  The larvae are deposited directly onto the food, which the larvae will eat from.  The life cycle for the flesh flies can be completed in 8 to 21 days.

BLOW FLIES AND BOTTLE FLIES

There are quite a few species of blowflies and bottle flies found in and around residences.  Green bottle, blue bottle, and bronze bottle flies may be more abundant in urban areas than houseflies.

Blowflies and bottle flies can breed on dead rodents and birds.  They usually breed in meat scraps, animal excrement, and decaying animal matter around houses.  The adult flies are quite active inside and are strongly attracted to light.

The life cycle usually lasts 9-21 days from egg to adult.

THE HUMAN FLY

These are the worst type of pest, people who can't help but poop and puke everywhere they land. We all have them, friends that feel the need to talk down on everything and everyone. When did being a crappy person become fashionable? There's an epidemic and not enough fly swatters to go around. These infestations cheapen the efforts of others in an attempt to feel better about themselves, sucking the life out of the rest of us (exhausting work.) They have nothing to offer so in an attempt to seem relevant they have to make it appear that everything around them is of little value.

THE SOLUTION

Step One: Go to the cabinet and grab fly swatter firmly in hand.

Step Two: locate the pest.

Step Three: Swing hard and fast aiming for the face of the annoying "Human Fly" 

Step Four: Repeat the words "No, no, (it helps to wag your finger, Human Flies are slow so you have to emphasize so they understand) your not allowed to puke and poop on every one's good time. Pests only do one of two things, they escape with their lives or they get eradicated. They certainly don't get to join in the fun. 

Step Five: If this doesn't work throw some fly paper on them or feed them shit whatever works. 

LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO PUT UP WITH PESTS!